Life is funny. It hands you moments of complete ecstasy, those times where you feel so euphoric and happy, anything is possible.
But life usually hands us challenges. Everyone has them, but everyone handles them differently.
I'm a pessimist by nature, blame genetics. I call it realism. I do have my optimistic moments, but an individual with an anxiety disorder always looks at the situation in the worst possible light to avoid disappointment.
I'm trying my best to change this.
You know how you always hear when life hands you lemons, make lemonade? Its cliche...but if you word it differently, its more sound in reason.
Military way of saying it: Don't hand me problems, hand me solutions.
I almost gave up last week. I broke down and cried my eyes out on my one year anniversary of graduating. Why? Because I'm still at level one, as a production assistant at WSET. I go to work everyday, watching people do what I want to do: being out there, getting stories, informing the public. The only thing I'm doing that is in anyway fulfilling to me is writing for Lynchburg Living. I had had it with applying to so many jobs, practically begging for an interview, and nobody contacting me back. My worse fear is just waking up one morning, in my late 30's early 40's, realizing that everything I did was a waste.
So, I gathered myself and started to research going back to school. Not for journalism, but go back to my first gameplan in getting my Veternarian Technician Certification. I felt like maybe I wasn't cut out for this career and I need to be more reasonable.
Luckily, something happened that put me back on my more desired path, the one that I've worked so hard towards.
Last month, I was told that I would not have an article in Lynchburg Living. I'm not sure if it was due to space or money. I was bothered by this and wondered if maybe I was done (anxiety=thinking the worst.) In the world of journalism, if you don't have fresh clips, you are not going to get a job at a newspaper or magazine. Editors look for people who have current experience. Its an everchanging career, you have to keep up or it leaves you in the dust.
My editor calls me a week before publishing day. She asks if I had anything ready for print because a story fell through. Well, I did. I always do. I do stories on the side to keep my skills in check and just to see if I could get them published. I gave her my profile piece on Luis Gonzales, written almost two years ago. I wanted this piece published so badly, it was one that meant a lot to me.
So, it was done. And Johanna and her husband, whom is a photographer, presented it in a beautiful way, one that I could have asked for from anyone else. They really did an amazing job and it accentuated the power of Luis's story.
I didn't know the impact this story had on the community until yesterday. I walked in to give Luis a copy, but he already had many. He had been shipping them off to Chile, his home country, to share with friends and family. He had customers coming into his store in tears and new ones pop up after reading my article. I was having trouble digesting all of this. I didn't know my article would have been this well noticed.
One story that Luis shared with me really gave me chills. A man that has been coming to his store for years was very particular, one who didn't have much money. He always came in and bought a few incenses for 30 cents a piece. That was a lot of money to that man. Well, apparently, he came in a few days ago and handed Luis $2. This is more like $25 to this man. He handed it to him and said "Nice article" and walked out. Luis just stood their flabbergasted.
When I left the store, Luis gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. He thanked me and his co-workers told me that I truly captured his essence.
I could say this gave me a huge sense of pride and relief. Relief because Luis is a hero to me and I have known him since I was a tiny little thing. Writing such an intimate piece is like taking someone's heart and soul and throwing it out into the world to see. And I'm happy that he is content with my article.
That experience, his excitement, my impact is the reason I'm going to keep trying.
I'm starting to realize that most people who fail do because they took life's lemons and let them sour their lives. But if one keeps trying, those lemons can turn into something quite refreshing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have something you want, keep going for it. You can't give up, you can't let the roadblocks stop you.
I'm not even close to where I want to be yet and I don't know how long my path is going to be to the dream job I did want, but I'm going to keep pushing through.
But life usually hands us challenges. Everyone has them, but everyone handles them differently.
I'm a pessimist by nature, blame genetics. I call it realism. I do have my optimistic moments, but an individual with an anxiety disorder always looks at the situation in the worst possible light to avoid disappointment.
I'm trying my best to change this.
You know how you always hear when life hands you lemons, make lemonade? Its cliche...but if you word it differently, its more sound in reason.
Military way of saying it: Don't hand me problems, hand me solutions.
I almost gave up last week. I broke down and cried my eyes out on my one year anniversary of graduating. Why? Because I'm still at level one, as a production assistant at WSET. I go to work everyday, watching people do what I want to do: being out there, getting stories, informing the public. The only thing I'm doing that is in anyway fulfilling to me is writing for Lynchburg Living. I had had it with applying to so many jobs, practically begging for an interview, and nobody contacting me back. My worse fear is just waking up one morning, in my late 30's early 40's, realizing that everything I did was a waste.
So, I gathered myself and started to research going back to school. Not for journalism, but go back to my first gameplan in getting my Veternarian Technician Certification. I felt like maybe I wasn't cut out for this career and I need to be more reasonable.
Luckily, something happened that put me back on my more desired path, the one that I've worked so hard towards.
Last month, I was told that I would not have an article in Lynchburg Living. I'm not sure if it was due to space or money. I was bothered by this and wondered if maybe I was done (anxiety=thinking the worst.) In the world of journalism, if you don't have fresh clips, you are not going to get a job at a newspaper or magazine. Editors look for people who have current experience. Its an everchanging career, you have to keep up or it leaves you in the dust.
My editor calls me a week before publishing day. She asks if I had anything ready for print because a story fell through. Well, I did. I always do. I do stories on the side to keep my skills in check and just to see if I could get them published. I gave her my profile piece on Luis Gonzales, written almost two years ago. I wanted this piece published so badly, it was one that meant a lot to me.
So, it was done. And Johanna and her husband, whom is a photographer, presented it in a beautiful way, one that I could have asked for from anyone else. They really did an amazing job and it accentuated the power of Luis's story.
I didn't know the impact this story had on the community until yesterday. I walked in to give Luis a copy, but he already had many. He had been shipping them off to Chile, his home country, to share with friends and family. He had customers coming into his store in tears and new ones pop up after reading my article. I was having trouble digesting all of this. I didn't know my article would have been this well noticed.
One story that Luis shared with me really gave me chills. A man that has been coming to his store for years was very particular, one who didn't have much money. He always came in and bought a few incenses for 30 cents a piece. That was a lot of money to that man. Well, apparently, he came in a few days ago and handed Luis $2. This is more like $25 to this man. He handed it to him and said "Nice article" and walked out. Luis just stood their flabbergasted.
When I left the store, Luis gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. He thanked me and his co-workers told me that I truly captured his essence.
I could say this gave me a huge sense of pride and relief. Relief because Luis is a hero to me and I have known him since I was a tiny little thing. Writing such an intimate piece is like taking someone's heart and soul and throwing it out into the world to see. And I'm happy that he is content with my article.
That experience, his excitement, my impact is the reason I'm going to keep trying.
I'm starting to realize that most people who fail do because they took life's lemons and let them sour their lives. But if one keeps trying, those lemons can turn into something quite refreshing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have something you want, keep going for it. You can't give up, you can't let the roadblocks stop you.
I'm not even close to where I want to be yet and I don't know how long my path is going to be to the dream job I did want, but I'm going to keep pushing through.
1 comment:
I didn't realize that getting that article published would mean so much -to you or to Luis. I'm so glad it made print. When the other story fell through, it opened a door for yours. Sometimes things just dance as they are supposed to. And you are right, those who fall, fall because they give up. Lemons are handed to all of us to test our strength and character... so just keep find them refreshing.
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